Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
