i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
