Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
