Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
