when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
