I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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