Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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