I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
