Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
