Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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