Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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