I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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