the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Randomize
