I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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