So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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