would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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