Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
