She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
