I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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