When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
