If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
