in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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