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i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize