Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
