After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
