that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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