I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
