My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
