4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
