first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
