I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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