We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
