We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize