She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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