Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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