White coat. Heels.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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