I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
