Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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