wrigley field is MILF paradise
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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