She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
