Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
