omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize