So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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