my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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