I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
