I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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