Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
