It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
