I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
