I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
