put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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