Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
