Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
