I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
