Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Randomize
