I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
