White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
