Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
