Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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