You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
