Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
