This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize