So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
