i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
