ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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